Here I am, coming out of an episode.

The past few days have been rough. The episode that I knew was coming was worse that I imagined it would be. I actually had to ask for help for my boys (which is rare). What was so intense? Well, it’s a type episode I rarely have. The last one was six years ago. I disassociated.

I have been so stressed recently with matters out of my control that my brain decided it wanted to check out for a bit. I walked about feeling like an apparition. I felt like a ghost and started to believe I could see through myself. I didn’t want to die, it just felt like I already had. I was watching everyone move on without me, even when someone was trying to interact with me. I stopped driving and doing any sort of activity that would result in me having to pay attention.

This started on a Wednesday night and I called my doctor Thursday morning. He told me to take Ativan in the morning and the evening and to call him on Monday if I’m still experiencing this episode. It’s Sunday now and for the in four days my brain has reconnected with my body. I feel whole again. It feels good to be me again. Who knows how long that will last until I head into another episode. That’s a worry for another day.