A light in my life just went out.

I will never know what prompted my mom and dad to get married. Upon reflection, I’m glad they did because I enjoy being alive, but they were terribly suited for each other. Which is why, when they announced their divorce when I was five-years-old, I was relieved. My only memories of my parents’ marriage were of them fighting. No happy times to reminisce about at all.

When they did divorce, Mom was afraid she’d never find love. She had 3 kids and didn’t think any man would accept that. Thankfully, God proved her wrong. Two years after the divorce, she met a man who was captivated by her mere presence. He asked her out and she said “yes.” Mom was very interested in him too and really wanted to impress him. She had always told me that a way to a man’s heart was through his stomach, so she invited him over to her apartment and cooked dinner for him. Mom was a fabulous cook (a skill she passed down to me, to brag a little) and won his heart. 18 months later, they got married.

On the day of their wedding, I looked at my new step-father and asked him if I should call him “Dad.” He responded with, “You have a dad and I’m not here to replace him. I called my father “Pop,” so that’s what you can call me.” He’s been Pop ever since, and a week ago today, Pop passed away.

I was eight when he became my pop. He was an amazing step-father. Always there to tell me how much he loved me and never judged me. He simply accepted me as I was then and how I am now.

In high school, I had a zero hour class, so I got out early. After school, I would walk to a local restaurant called Savory Faire and meet Mom, who was heading home from work, and Pop, who was going to work. We had an hour to eat and we had a lot of great conversations. That time spent at Savory Faire were some of the greatest moments from my high school years.

When I got married, I asked Pop to walk me down the aisle and he accepted. He was very proud to give me away. I have many other moments in my life that were made better because Pop was there, but I’m not ready to share them. He was a true light in my life. However, he kind of shut down when Mom passed away in 2008. I still went to visit him once or twice a year until my first son was born in 2013, and we talked on the phone often, but he missed Mom a lot and couldn’t find it within himself to rejoin the living.

Two weeks ago, my sister called to tell me that Pop had another stroke and he was in the hospital. The next day, while in the hospital, he had a second heart attack. I flew up to where he lived to see him one last time. The doctor explained that there was nothing they could do for him, and a week later, he was gone. I’m sad but at the same time at peace. I know he’s with Mom now. Life will never be the same, and it’s hard knowing I’ll never talk on the phone with Pop again, but Mom and Pop are together again and that’s all he’s wanted for the past 17 years.